A day in the life of 'John'

So peeps, today was my first day of working under the pseudonym of 'John'. It was interesting to say the least!

Firstly, there is the obvious problem of not always realising that people are talking to you when they refer to you by your new name. It happened a few times today. Particularly this morning! I arrived at work (late due to some really terrible traffic on which I shall comment later) and immediately was issued with orders which were simply to lay things out so that I could deal with them later and that it would be easy. This I did dutifully after spending a few milliseconds in complete bewilderment, trying to figure out why on earth they had called me John. I think that my brain isn't all that keen on working first-thing in the morning...

Then, the second problem that came up was that others forgot that I was called John. My sisters and Duncan kept forgetting to call me John and would accidentally refer to me as Luke in front of our bosses. Thank God that I wasn't around when these little slip-ups took place! I think I would have probably gone bright red and made deliberate and ever-so-inconspicuous gestures at them to shut up. I'm a very subtle person when it comes to being embarrassed...(It's sarcasm for those who didn't pick up on that...)

Finally, I recieved a name tag with John Duncan on it which just threw my mind for a six (for any American readers, that means that I was very confused)! It was terrible! I got the tag and I stared at it thinking, 'Why the hell have they given me this?! It's not mine! What's wrong with these people?'. The situation dawned on me shortly thereafter but it took a while.

As far as the work side of the day goes, we didn't really do much at all. Most of the day was spent either watching TV in our hotel room (I'll rant about that shortly), parking off at the front desk of the hotel in which we are working or scuttling between the hotel room and the front desk. I did get to run off to get food for everyone though, which was a welcome change from mooching around the hotel.

The hotel was horrible!!! For any readers who are likely to visit South Africa (which is well worth the visit by the way! ;) )and need to stay in a hotel, AVOID the Monte Casino Pallazzo Hotel! Firstly, the workers at this place are completely clueless and have no idea about how to serve the customer. They make screw-ups left, right and centre. I must interject here and say that the porters were very nice though. I think it's just the admin people that are useless.

Another problem with this hotel, from my point of view anyway, is that it has taken cheesy to a whole new level! It's modelled on Italy and tuscan villas, but it would appear that the architects and interior designers had never seen Italy and based all their designs on what they had seen in stylised pictures of tuscan villa style town-houses. That place is in absolutely NO way any reflection of what Italy is like AT ALL!!! Italy is beautiful and classical, whereas this hotel is hideous and lame! The room was so revolting, the headboards for the bed looked like plywood that had been given to some kids under the instruction to paint on a stensil but with as much colour as possible. It was horrendous...and the view from the window of a large, very obviously concrete and fake-looking Monte Casino shopping centre/Casino didn't help things much at all.

So, as you can imagine, I'm not a fan of the hotel or shopping centre/Casino.

As for the traffic, today was, it would appear, national bad-traffic day. We arrived at work late this morning due to an accident involving a taxi and two other motor vehicles just before one of Johannesburgs biggest highway offramps (Rivonia Rd, for those who care). Then, at another large offramp, all the traffic lights were out of order, which automatically resulted in utter chaos. Then, later today, amidst the usual insanity that is Johannesburg post-work traffic, an airplane crashed on one of the highways! It had apparently hit some powerlines and had been forced to try a rather unsuccessful emergency landing on the highway. Crunch!

That's all folks! I leave you with this amazing picture of the most hideous fish I've ever seen up close (He/she lives at the Pretoria Aquarium):

On being an international man of mystery

Well dear bloggers, whoever claims to live a dull life has never spent a day in these moccasins! For I, over the next two days, will be working under an alias. Yes, I am going to work, incognito.

It's not nearly as exciting as I am making it sound. I'll be working a function for the International Platinum Association which a good friend of mine has helped organise. The reason for my disguise is that I am not in the good books of the company for whom he is organising this function, not by anything that I did wrong. The problem all started a while back...

I was asked if I'd like to work for them for a day, doing some phoning around and inviting people to this function/confirming their attendance. I said that I'd be interested and they then said that they would contact me about it at a later stage, which they did. However, by this stage, things had fallen apart in my life, as they often do, and I was no longer able to work for them. I did offer a replacement, my sister, who they gladly used. However, their favour for me dwindled rapidly. They were apparently furious that my name was now on their contract and I was, in fact, not going to be working for them. So, instead of doing the rational thing and just changing the name on the piece of paper, which nobody had yet signed anyway so it would have not made a stitch of difference anyhoo, they simply decided to hate me to the day that I die.

Luckily for me, I didn't have to deal with them directly. I was doing all of these dealings through my good pal, David.

So, a few weeks ago, when I received a call from David asking me if I'd be interested in working the function, I said that I would be very keen to do so. At this stage, I didn't actually know that I was loathed by these people. David then explained that I would be able to work with them, provided that I assume a different name as they didn't like Luke Duncan and were very angry at him. Given that these people had never laid eyes on me in their lives before, I figured it would all go smoothly. I stand to be corrected on this but, touch wood, I doubt that I will.

So, today I went to a meeting with the employers who hate Luke Duncan. It was the most hysterical and tense meeting of my life! David, my two sisters, Duncan and Candice were there with me. All was going well until they asked for our names. David had decided that my alias was to be 'John'. So when it came to giving my name, I said just that. From that point on, every time my 'name' was said, I'd feel a wave of terror shoot through me as thoughts like, 'Do I have a "John" face? I DON'T! They'll figure it out any second now!' frolicked through my mind. Another side effect of being given an alias is the urge to giggle every time your name is mentioned. NOT a good thing, trust me! Luckily, I soon found out that I was not the only one who suffered from this compulsion, as immediately following the meeting, we all convened to discuss how funny it had been.

So, the next two days should be rather interesting to say the least! I shall let you know who it is that eventually slips up and let's it out that I'm not actually John...

To make things worse, it appears that a Prof. John Duncan may be attending this function. I really hope I don't bump into him!

It bit me!!!

Hello bloggers!

I have to appologise. I have not blogged for almost half a year or so. It's just that doing a Masters degree is a hell of a lot more work than I ever expected and so I rarely had the energy to pick my nose, let alone write about it in my blog. So, I'm sorry.

The point of todays post is to update you all and let you know about what has happened to me in the interum. Firstly, I have started my research at Johannesburg Zoo approximately three times over the course of this year. It has been a great source of stress but I'm chuffed to announce that that stress is no longer a problem as I am not doing my work at Jo'burg zoo until next year, if I get a chance. Instead, I'm working at Pretoria Zoo!

Actually, it's not Pretoria Zoo, it's the National Zoological Gardens of South Africa. I'm sure you can understand why I just call it Pretoria zoo...

So I've started work there and so far, it's working really well! I've finished the first phase of my work there and I'll be meeting with the keeper on Friday to discuss how and when we'll be implementing the second phase! I'm so excited! This will be the first time that I've EVER gotten as far as the second phase! Yay!

Working at Pretoria is interesting to say the least...I have to drive through on a daily basis and as any person who lives in the PWV will tell you, it's not a fun drive. To make things worse, I only end up driving through there between 09:00 and 15:00 so, while I avoid the traffic, I am driving through the hottest hours of the day. It's okay though. I rather enjoy it and I am developing quite a tan from all that sun :D Now, if only I could equlise the tan by tanning my other arm...

I've also enrolled my sisters as my research assitants. They've been a great help with keeping tabs on the chimps and watching the stopwatch for me. Thanks guys!

My supervisor is currently in Cape Town, as an examiner for the University of Cape Town. He goes at the end of every year for about three weeks or so. I think he only actually works there for about a week or two and takes the rest of the time off but I guess, that's cool. He does work like a mad thing when he's at Wits so I suppose some time off isn't a bad plan for him.

And now, for the story relating to the title of this post. Yesterday, I was at the Pretoria Zoo and I was observng the chimps as I do. All was going well, apart from a couple of children who hurled Marie biscuits at the chimps whom I had the joy of shouting at about it (It's very cathartic to yell at misbehaving children in zoos! Try it some time!). All of a sudden, I felt a sharp pain in my elbow. I immediately looked down and saw what I thought was a mosquito biting me! The audasity of this creature! I immediately slapped at the thing, which naturally just wafted off and I ended up slapping myself for no reason. After giving the insect a very disapproving look, I resumed my observations.

All was well until this morning. I woke up and to my horror realised that my elbow was severely swollen! It looks like someone cut a golfball in half and surgically implanted in into my arm! It's not very itchy but it's huge and rather uncomfortable. Then, today I was at the zoo again and I got bitten AGAIN! But this time, the thing that bit me looked like some sort of fly. Once again, I slapped myself as the little bugger gracefully floated away blissfully.

The end.

Days like these...

Hello gangsta's!

Today, I'm thrilled to announce, I finished and handed in my project proposal! It's for my masters dissertation on chimpanzee behaviour. It's taken me absolute ages to finish off and now it is finally done! Hooray! Here is a photo of Claudette, my favourite chimp!

The sad thing is that now I feel like I have nothing to do. It's been a bit of a birthing process in that I had devoted so much time and energy to it that now that it's over, I feel like there isn't anything left. Apart from the crap that the 1st years hand in for me to mark that is...

Sadly, not everyone can join me in my revelry (If that's not how it's spelt, I don't care!). Alas, Helen and Vanessa are busy working furiously on their proposals too and are feeling rather down about it as they feels they have too much to do and too little time to do it in. So, to Helen and Nes, chin up! You can do it! You will manage!

In other news, Sarah has confirmed where she will be going in Japan to teach English for the nest year! It looks awesome! I'm so jealous! If only I were to come into a large sum of money and had little to no inclination to finish my masters early, I'd totally be there!

And, to celebrate all the good fortune that has been dolloped onto today, I am going to go to sleep before 12:00! So cheerio!

Gasp!

Tom tagged me! I'm honoured!

As is customary for these things, I tag Helen, Angela, Travis, Hannah and Laura. Pot along, and do it for yerselves.

First Add a direct link to you below the name of the person who tagged you! Include the city (or state) and the country you live in (a great way to score links and find new reads).

Nicole (Sydney, Australia)
Velverse (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
LB (San Giovanni in Marignano, Italy)
Selba (Jakarta, Indonesia)
Olivia (London, England)
ML (Utah, USA)
Lotus (Toronto, Canada)
Tanabata (Saitama, Japan)
Andi (Dallas [Ish], Texas, United States)
Lulu (Chicago, Illinois, United States)
Chris (Boyne City, Michigan, United States)
AB (Cave Creek, Arizona, United States)
Johnny Yen (Chicago, Illinois, USA)
Bubs (Mt Prospect, Illinois, USA)
Jintrinsique (Manitowoc, Wisconsin, USA)
Dino Aka Katy (Newport News, Virginia, USA)
Angel (Gauteng, South Africa)
Tom Cat (Joburg, South Africa)
Mangaliso (Joburg, South Africa)

Second List your 5 top eateries where you live!

1. Soi, in Melville. Super-amazing place! I love the food! They make the most amazing stir-fry and the jasmine rice is always awesome!
2. Bismilah's in Fordsburg. Their food tastes great, doesn't kill you and is really cheap!
3. Thai Cafe in Paulshof. The peanutbutter curry! That's all I have to say...(it's also the only thing I have ever eaten there but it was so good! Apparently, the cashew stir fry is also really good!)
4. Moyo's in Melrose Arch. I had Tom's kous-kous, which was great, and the ambience was awesome! Plus, they paint your face for free!
5. Benkei in Norwood. Sushi is amazing, what can I say! Even if it is vegetarian...

Third tag 5 other people (preferably from other countries/states) and let them know they’ve been tagged.(see above)

Blog people!

I have begun to notice a disturbing trend amongst bloggers...

They are not blogging!

I realise this is rich coming from someone whose last post was about two weeks ago but I think that blogging is a really nice way for people from all over the globe to keep in contact and the fact that few of us are doing so, saddens me. As Tom mentioned before, perhaps the fad of blogging has died and people have moved on, to better forms of communication, such as facebook. Even so, I still think that we should all blog!

Now that my minor rant is over, I have a short true-life story to tell. On Friday morning, I woke up to discover a note and a CD outside my bedroom door. As it turned out, it was from my sister. The note basically said that that evening a band that she really likes would be playing a gig and nobody wanted to go with her to hear them. So, she wanted to know if I would go with her. I was definitely not feeling up to it.

The CD was of the band, called 'Cabins in the Forest', and she wanted me to give it a listen to decide if I was going to go with or not. I was running a little late so I just grabbed the whole thing and shoved it into my bag as I galloped out of the house.

Once I had settled into my office at varsity, I popped the CD into my laptop to listen to while I worked. It was AWESOME! They are really good! They are a pair of guys, one from Cape Town, the other from Durban, and they play alternative rock, with a slight new age/spanish sound. It's really cool!

So, later that evening, after exploding two beers at BioSoc (I'll have to write about that some other time), I got home and we decided to go. I was still a bit apprehensive about going as I am not a rock person and the idea of going to a gig where all the people around me would spontaneously start singing along while I had no clue what language they were even singing in, was a little daunting. But it was really worth it!

The gig itself was hosted in the back room of a tiny CD shop, called 'Canned Applause'. The two guys had set up their stuff and had put candles all around them on the floor. There was no other lighting in the room apart from some very feeble ceiling lights. We all packed into the room, sitting rather uncomfortably, and they played. They were BRILLIANT! I really liked them! They are a little like Michelle and Rodriguez, for those who know who that is.

And so, I am very grateful for having gone on Friday. It just shows that it does pay to step out of your comforst zone every now and again!

Life without light

We work very hard on field trips!

Hi all!

This post is not anywhere near as serious as the title hints. I'm just writing about how, for the last three days, I have had to camp in my own house. It is all because as most South Africans can testify, we are not all that good at grasping and understanding this concept of public service and community.

The reason why I say that I have had to camp in my own home is that we have had no electricity for the last three days! It's been insane! There was some problem and our power went out some time very early on Monday morning. I woke up to find that our house was unusually cold, despite the fact that we don't actually have any heaters in operation at the moment. I recieved a phone call on my cell phone, which incidentally was in the final throws of battery death, tried very hard to answer the call and for some inexplicable reason, couldn't. So, I got up and tried to plug my phone in to recharge the battery.

Now, usually, I do have problems getting the plug of my cell phone charger to actually make a decent connection so that I can actually charge my phone. So, this morning, when I plugged it all in and failed to get any hint of recharging it didn't strike me as particularly strange.

I sometimes like to listen to music in the mornings to wake me up a little. So on this morning, I pressed the play button on my CD player before I tried to plug in my phone. It was at this point that I noticed something odd. There was nothing happening. Not even that familiar whirring sound that usually preceeds the music. So, I sat up and looked at the CD player. That was when I realised that we had no power.

Now, power failures in SA are not entirely uncommon. We have them from time to time, however they tend to last about an hour or two at the most. This one went on for THREE DAYS! We are very fortunate however as we are one of the few families that I know that have solar heated water. It's great because it means that we still had hot water! The only down side was that we had to go and fetch the water from our pool area as that is where the solar unit thingy is. We also had to invent a new style of washing which involved getting a bucket of hot water and a sponge. You would then use the sponge to generate a kind of spray, similar to an actual shower only much less satisfying.

Then, our prayers were answered this morning! I awoke to my father sitting at a computer, checking his e-mail. The power had been restored!!! So, tonight I look forward to a shower instead of a 'bucket' as we began to call the new cleaning process. Also, I don't have to worry about concerving my battery life on my laptop! Yay!

In hindsight, it was actually rather scary to realise just how dependent we are on our electricity. It felt as if our lives had come to a complete stand-still because we couldn't watch TV or surf the web. It's rather sad really. All the same, I am thrilled to have it all back!

As an aside, I went to prize-giving this evening and finally recieved the prize for the mysterious money which I recieved a while back. It was cool! I got a post-it note with something along the lines of 'If you have any problems, please contact Mrs. Adele Katz'

Random Fact Of The Day:

Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries