God is a DJ...?

Hey blog-readers!

I hope you have your ranting-caps on, because here comes a little rant...

Last night I watched the documentary 'Jesus Camp'. It was really scary! I was horrified to see what they are doing to children in the states and, undoubtedly, other parts of the world! While I am a christian and I believe in evangelism, what they were doing on this camp really was very saddening and very maddening at the same time.

One of the arguments put forward for why they should be indoctrinating their children at a bible camp was that '...the muslims are doing it, so why shouldn't we?' (Muslims was pronounced Muzz-limbs). Firstly, I would like to point out just how incredibly short-sighted that point of view is. Just because they are doing it, doesn't mean that it is right! Are they saying that since Muslims extremists are willing to train up their children from a young age in the ways of Islam and sacrifice them as suicide bombers, that we christians should be prepared to do the same?! Where, pray, in the bible does it say ANYTHING about raising up our children to murder innocent civilians in this manner? For those who are not familair with the christian bible, it certainly says nothing like this at all! Jesus christ was once asked by a man which of the ten commandments were the most important. Jesus replied with 'Love the lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind. Love your neighbour as you love yourself.' Now, how exactly is blowing up innocent people an act of love?

The second point I'd like to make about what was said is that God gave all of mankind the amazing gift of free will. This means that we, as people, must choose whether we want to serve God, accept Christ as our lord and live as God intended for us, or not. I have HUGE problems with anyone who thinks that they are saving their child by indoctrinating them! I believe that it is right to teach our children about the ways of God and how to live their lives according to godly principals but at the end of the day, it is up to them to decide whether they want to follow that path or not. No matter how much we love our children, or how much we don't want them to go to hell, it is not our choice to make and we must accept that and let them choose.

There were so many things in this movie that upset me. Another example was a little girl who was part of a dance-worship team. She would practice her dancing for God every day and when asked about her dancing said that she loved to dance for God, but found that sometimes, she struggled to keep her dancing focused on him. She added that she knew that dancing just for fun was ungodly because, as an act of worship, it would not be focused on him. This distressed me intensely! I think that it is so sad that a child should be taught that it is wrong to dance for fun! There is no place in the bible, to my knowledge, where it says that a person must dance for God alone and forgo any pleasure that may be derived from dancing just for the fun of it!

There was another segment where the children were being preached to about the evil that is abortion. While I myself remain divided on the issue, I feel that there was a more disturbing underlying problem with what was being taught to these children. Many of these kids were between the ages of 5 and 12. Now, I may have just forgotten this, but I have serious doubts that children of age 5 will know how human reproduction works, never mind the details of abortion! What kind of people force children to learn about the practice of abortion and how evil it is when these same children probably don't understand how that baby got there in the first place!

The final part that I shall rant about (for there is SO much more!) is about how incredibly naive they all are! One of the main reasons cited for the bible camps was that children are so open to what you have to tell them which makes them great for moulding as tools to do what you want them to do. Psychologically this is a very valid point, however, I find it terrifying that someone could consiously think like that and not see the horrible potential for the situation to get WAY out of control! The other thing is that these kids just accept whatever is being thrown at them as the truth! And they think that anything that seems vaguely related to God is good. This is very worrying because, I believe, people were given brains for a reason - to use them! Thinking and reasoning are part of what makes human beings so unique amongst the other species that share our world! What good is that if we don't use it? And, what greater way to slap God in the face than to say, 'Sure, you gave me the most amazing brain on the planet, but I'd prefer to not really use it. My life is just a lot easier that way...' This kind of thinking reminded me of something my mother said once. I was listening to the song, 'God is a DJ' by Faithless tonight while cooking my dinner (hence the title) and it too, reminded me of this conversation.

I had just recieved the CD 'Sunday 8pm' (Faithless) for christmas and I was listening to it one day. My mother happened to be in the room and 'God is a DJ' played, followed by another song 'Touched by the hem of his garment', both songs with obvious religious connotations. However, this is where the problem comes in. My mother was very impressed with the music because it was *obviously* about God. But the fact of the matter is that it is NOT at all! 'God is a DJ' is about how for the youth af the time, what mattered to them, their church, was the rave and dance scene. It was a place where they could go and just be themselves, free of the contraints of society and religion. Now the point that I'm trying to make is that my mother just blindly accepted the music as good because it had the word God in it! It is this kind of blind faith that I find scary and wish that I could somehow change.

I am sorry for offending you, if you feel offended by this post. However, I am not sorry for what I have written here. These are my thoughts on the matter and I believe that they are backed up by the bible and good, old-fashioned common sense. Take it or leave it...it's up to you...

P.S. The preacher man at the end of the movie, who preaches about how evil homosexuality is has apparently come out of the closet and has been excommunicated from the church. I find it all hysterically ironic!

My terrible shower experience

No, this post has nothing to do with dropping the soap...

I am currently house-sitting for my aunt and uncle, who have gone on holiday to Cape Town. The job really just entails staying at the house to make it appear that there has been no change in the habitation and to ensure that all the pets are fed and okay. It's a great job because it means that I get to stay on my own for a while, get paid and essentially have a private mini-holiday.

The other night, I went to have a shower. Now, my aunt and uncle have a sliding-door in their shower. The frame of the door is a dark brown colour and runs as a wide band around the glass panel. On this fateful night, I climbed into the shower, after a rather stressful day, feeling a little frazzled and very grateful for the hot needles of water falling onto me from the shower nozzle.

As I stood under the rushing water, I noticed that there was a really bad smell in the air. I immediately thought that the cats must have taken a dump in the shower. I immediately began to look at the floor to see if the cats had, indeed, left a little 'package' for me on the shower floor. But there was nothing there.

The stench persisted and I began to wonder if the smell was from something that I had stood in. I looked out of the shower at the floor and noticed that my shoes were nowhere to be seen. I had left them in the bedroom, down the hall. I certainly hadn't stood in anything with my bare feet, because I'd only taken off my shoes when I'd decided to have a shower.

I then thought that perhaps the smell had wafted in from outside and I turned to check if the window was open. It was not.

By this stage, the smell was still as potent as ever and I had no idea where it was coming from. Then, I heard a scratching noise coming up from the edge of the shower door. I looked down and to my horror, there was a PARKTOWN PRAWN!

Now, for any of you that are not South African's, nor have you ever been to Johannesburg, Parktown Prawns are MASSIVE king crickets, that live in and around Johannesburg. They are revolting creatures that make most sensible people decidedly uneasy in their presence. One of the natural defenses of these hideous beasts, apart from kicking out with their strong and barbed back legs, is to release a foul-smelling, black gunge from their abdomen. It was this that I realised had been sprayed onto the floor of the shower, and was, in fact, the source of the stench!

I realised that I was now faced with a choice. Either, I could hurtle through the house, naked, and find something to catch this disgusting creature with, or I could remain in the shower and just be very careful about where I put my toes. I opted for the latter option and had one of the most awkward showers of my life. I'd wash my face as quickly as possible so that I could keep track of the whereabouts of this insect. And, to make things much worse, every time I'd look at the thing, a chill would shoot up my spine.

Eventually, I finished what felt like one of the longest showers of my life, and caught the beast in an old margarine tub. It was almost as bad as the time I put on a shoe to discover that there was one sitting where my toes were supposed to go...

This one seems a little smaller than they usually are...

Why on earth am I up this early?!

Good-day internutters :)

I'm currently house-sitting for my aunt and uncle. It's really nice because it gives me a chance to get away from home and relax alone for a while. It's been one hell of a year and so I've really glad that I have gotten this opportunity to just chill. Of course, I would much prefer to be going to the coast with the rest of my family, but alas, this was not to happen. The reason being is thus...

I've been asked to do two talks to kids about monkeys. I know, this sounds ridiculous, but it is true. It seems that most people think that anyone who is at a university is always free and willing to do talks, no matter how mundane they are. While this may be partly true, and I certainly can't say that I would pass up the opportunity to give talks simply because I enjoy it, this does tend to lead to some rather frustrating situations. Such as the one that I am currently in.

Now, it appears that, for most situations anyway, the norm for a talk is a Powerpoint presentation. I am, not boasting, rather good at those and I have learned how to make them so that they provide the watcher with enough information not to be boring and not to be overwhelming at the same time, while still acting as a sort of speech card for me. It's also a really good way to do things because, you can add in videos and sounds and that sort of thing, which is always fun.

But, this time, they expect me to give a talk without the aid of the digital realm. I could handle this, but to make things worse, the crowd that I'm talking to are between the ages of 5 and 12 years old! So now, I've had to plan a whole series of games and things to keep these kids entertained! I'm so freaking out right now! I'm doing my first talk today at 1pm at Southgate. Then the second (and final one!) will be at Clearwater Mall at 1pm.

The one thing that is keeping me sane is that I have enlisted the help of my cousin, Sarah. She's a school teacher who works with the youngest kids, so she will be in her element when she helps out with these talks! Ten points to Sarah! ;D

And now, I must head to the shops to buy things for my talks. That's why I am awake at 7:30 on a Saturday morning...

I'm an INFJ!

Hello blog-readers.

I recently took a personailty test on the advice of a friend. I enjoy taking these internet tests. Most of them are SO way off that you end up laughing yourself silly. I once did a psychic test and it turns out I have precognitive abilities! How exciting! Now, if only I actually knew how to use them...

This test was different though. It was the first internet test that has gotten me down pretty good! It was actually a little scary! It turns out that I am an INFJ (Introvert iNtuitive Feeling Judging) personality. It was very interesting to see just how spot-on this was! This is what it had to say:

The Portait of the Counselor (INFJ)
The Counselor Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in reaching their goals, and enterprising and attentive in their interpersonal roles. Counselors focus on human potentials, think in terms of ethical values, and come easily to decisions. The small number of this type (little more than 2 percent) is regrettable, since Counselors have an unusually strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others and genuinely enjoy helping their companions. Although Counsleors tend to be private, sensitive people, and are not generally visible leaders, they nevertheless work quite intensely with those close to them, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes with their families, friends, and colleagues. This type has great depth of personality; they are themselves complicated, and can understand and deal with complex issues and people.
Counselors can be hard to get to know. They have an unusually rich inner life, but they are reserved and tend not to share their reactions except with those they trust. With their loved ones, certainly, Counselors are not reluctant to express their feelings, their face lighting up with the positive emotions, but darkening like a thunderhead with the negative. Indeed, because of their strong ability to take into themselves the feelings of others, Counselors can be hurt rather easily by those around them, which, perhaps, is one reason why they tend to be private people, mutely withdrawing from human contact. At the same time, friends who have known a Counselor for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that they are inconsistent; Counselors value their integrity a great deal, but they have intricately woven, mysterious personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.
Counselors have strong empathic abilities and can become aware of another's emotions or intentions -- good or evil -- even before that person is conscious of them. This "mind-reading" can take the form of feeling the hidden distress or illnesses of others to an extent which is difficult for other types to comprehend. Even Counselors can seldom tell how they came to penetrate others' feelings so keenly. Furthermore, the Counselor is most likely of all the types to demonstrate an ability to understand psychic phenomena and to have visions of human events, past, present, or future. What is known as ESP may well be exceptional intuitive ability-in both its forms, projection and introjection. Such supernormal intuition is found frequently in the Counselor, and can extend to people, things, and often events, taking the form of visions, episodes of foreknowledge, premonitions, auditory and visual images of things to come, as well as uncanny communications with certain individuals at a distance.
Mohandas Gandhi, Sidney Poitier, Eleanor Roosevelt, Jane Goodall, Emily Bronte, Sir Alec Guiness, Carl Jung, Mary Baker Eddy, Queen Noor are examples of the Counselor Idealist (INFJ).

Anyone who knows me will be able to tell you that this is pretty darn close to me as far as the personailty predicitons go! Now, I'm cool with most of those, except Mary Baker Eddy, who, as it turns out, was a bit of a nut-job. The end!

Attack of the KILLER HAIL!!!

My golly gosh! Yesterday evening was SO exciting, to say the least! It was crazy!

It all began when I was sitting at my desk, desperately trying to access my e-mail (our ISP has been down for a few days...who knows why...). I noticed, that my family were all standing in the entrance to our garage chattering. Now, my family is a little odd, I'll admit, but even for them, this is not normal behaviour. Thus, I got up and went to investigate.

They had just returned from doing the weekly shopping and thus had all clustered around the boot (trunk) of the car. But they were facing the wrong way. They were all facing the garden with their backs to the newly acquired shopping. I walked forward, trying to hear what they were all saying. As I got closer I suddenly realised that they were talking about hail and, looking around, I realised that it was beginning to hail.

Now, anyone who has ever spent some time, during summer, in the Gauteng region will be able to tell you that the area is bombarded frequently by massive thunderstorms - many of which, hail is an integral part. However, this time, the situation was very different. Most of our storms begin with a little thunder, rumbling away in the distance, like a flatulent co-worker tottering down the passage. This is usually followed by rain, which steadily strengthens in it's force and eventually culminates in hail. This time, there was no thunder, no rain, nothing. There were suddenly millions of little comets, plummeting down from above to slay any innocent leaf that was fooling enough to remain attached to it's parent plant.

Luckily for us, my mother had a moment of paranoia and insisted that we cover my car with something to protect it from the hail. My car is the only car in the family that lives outside, so it's the one that battles most in winter to get started and it's also the one that gets nailed by the hail. My mom found an old carpet lying about in the garage and we hurtled out to throw it onto my car. As we were in the process of straightening out the carpet, we realised, to our horror, that a carpet was not going to be enough! The hailstones that were crashing down all around us were getting to be about the size of a small apricot, only a lot harder and certainly not as pleasant.

Oddly enough, right next to the car was a pile of roof tiles that had been taken off our roof to be cut to make way for our new solar-pannel geyser. They had been replaced on the roof, so there was no gaping hole or anything. Immediately, my mother and I began to place these over the car (and it was a good thing we did too!). As we placed the last tile, things got scary...

Massive shards of ice began to fall all around us. These balls of chilly death were about the size of a golf ball, only they were larger and most were covered in very sharp, icey projections. Take a look at the picture. This is my sisters had with some of the hailstones in it:

By the end of the storm, which carried on for a good 10 minutes or so, the devistation was like nothing we have ever experienced before! The trees had been stripped of half their leaves, there were broken windows, about 7 dead birds were on our lawn and the solar panel was certainly a thing of the past. Apparently three people were killed last night during this storm, but it is still not clear how they died (walking around in the hail, car accidents as a result of the hail...?). We spent all of today cleaning up and trying to get our home looking more like a Bedfordview house and less like it was translocated for New Orleans following the floods. Check out the pics:

Our ill-fated solar panel...

The ill-fated solar panel complete with hailstones-del-los-muertos and a matchbox for scale.

Believe it or not, there is in fact a driveway beneath all that green!

On traffic and musical genius

G'day bloggers!

Today I had to go off to Pretoria for a meeting with the primate curator of the National Zoological Gardens (NZG). My meeting was at 2:00pm, so I ensured that I had an hour and a quarter to get to NZG. The route to Pretoria (of which there are actually two, both of about the same distance) is approximately 100km, so, any trips between Johannesburg and Pretoria take just under an hour or so. I had also considered the fact that today, being a Friday, traffic would be particularly hellish. But, I was soon to realise just how much I had underestimated the traffic!

I'd been in the car approximately 10min before it hit. I was stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic already. I looked along the road and to my horror, realised that the traffic was backed up all the way down the hill I was on, across the valley below and up the next hill. Internally I cursed the human race for procreating to such a degree that there would be this many cars at all but I resolved to accept that I might be a few minutes late for my meeting.

Once I reached the bottom of the hill, 15min later, I began to worry somewhat. I thought it a good idea to send a text message to the curator, explaining that I might be a tad on the late side.

About another 15min later, we reached the top of the hill. The traffic began to move a bit more and relief very cautiously dipped it's big toe into my mind shortly before shivering violently and scampering off. The problem was that I, once again, had completely misjudged the traffic, for it was nowhere nearly over!

The traffic continued to frustrate for a further 45 minutes...

There was one little gem that the traffic brought, however. As luck would have it, yesterday, it was announced on the radio that today, just after 2:00pm, they would be interviewing a band member of the group 'Chicane'. Now, had this been any other group in the universe, I probably wouldn't have given a fig about the interview. However, Chicane is a group that I've been a MASSIVE fan of ever since I heard their track, 'Saltwater'. But, as fate would have it, shortly after I discovered this uber-group, they went on an involuntary sabbatical of approximately 9 years during which, they would release absolutely nothing. So I sat, with my only Chicane album, waiting patiently for my next fix.

Coincidentally, I've somehow lost that CD within the last few days. It has literally vanished! I'm most upset.

Back to the story...Thus, due to the terrible traffic that was making me ridiculously late for my meeting, I got to listen to the interview! It was also made supa-cool by the fact that the interview-ee was none other than the groups founder and front-man, Nick Bracegirdle! Yay! The universe smiles upon me! I was surprised by the fact that he sounds like he's a Bristolian...I stand to be corrected on that. He is by far one of the worlds most talented and brilliant musicians of our time (methinks anyway!).

Once the interview was over, and the traffic eventually let up, I headed off to Pretoria. As I got in to Pretoria, the heavens opened and a deluge rushed forth. It was a good thing though. Somehow, people always take pity on you if you look as though you've been half drowned on your way to get to them for a meeting...

The meeting went well and I will be placing my devices in the chimp enclosure on Monday (HOORAY!!!). Big up to all my supporters!

PS: As it turned out...there was absolutley NO reason for the traffic...apparently people just like to slow down and huddle...

No chimps were hurt during the testing of this device...

Another victory to me! Today I tested out my enrichment devices at the Johannesburg Zoo! It was awesome! They did exactly what they were meant to do and nothing broke! Including the chimps!

The story of the devices is a long and winding one, a story that I shall recount to you, bloggers. It all began in about February, before my project proposal, when I was designing my devices. I started off asking my supervisor what I could use as an enrichment device for the chimpanzees. He suggested that I choose something that would be strong and functional. I mentioned to him that I was thinking of using a feeding tube (see photograph) because that way we could provide an incentive for the chimps to go to a particular area of their enclosure. To this he agreed and suggested that I then speak to the respective zoo keepers about what they would prefer.

I did exactly that. The first person I spoke to was the primate curator at Johannesburg Zoo. She's also a good friend of mine and was very nice and helpful about it all. I asked her what she would prefer that I use for the devices and she said that she would be happy for me to use any material to make my feeding tubes. So, feeling confident that I was on the right path, although still a little lost about what I should be using, I approached the head of the Jane Goodall Institute (JGI) to ask her what she thought would be appropriate for me to use at the JGI sanctuary in Nelspruit.

She was not as open to the use of any materials. She said that the manager of the sanctuary would most likely not be happy with me using artificial materials as they would prefer to keep their animal enclosures as natural-looking as possible (as an aside, I'd like to point out that their enclosures are surrounded by a 3m high electric fence, are full of alien invasive plants and the animals get fed food - such as cream-cheese and doughnuts [ever SO natural] - by the tourists that visit the sanctuary, so clearly my placement of a plastic tube in their enclosure would have had a catastrophic effect on this pristine environment which they have created and manage...yeah right). So, I said I'd try to carve these devices out of wood.

There were two major obstacles associated with this scenario. Firstly, where does one obtain sections of tree trunk that have not been treated with chemicals of any kind (another requirement for their immaculate ecological setup) from which to carve? Secondly, how exactly does one hollow out a log to form a tube? As far as the second question goes, I'm sure there are special machines that have been designed and built for this express purpose. But, alas, I don't have any such miracles of technological advancement.

Finding logs proved to be considerably more difficult than expected...My first thought was to ask tree fellers for the logs. However, many of the tree fellers that I contacted would cut their trees into sections that were too small for me to be able to use. The pieces are easier to move that way, for those who are wondering why they cut them up. Others would cut me large sections but of woods that were not suitable (too soft or poisonous).

So, after months of searching, and almost giving up hope entirely, I drove into university one day and to my delight, there were people cutting down trees all over campus! As it turned out, many of the trees had been sceduled to be felled for some time, it's just that nobody knew about it. So I, in my joy, drove around campus collecting bits of tree and shoving them into my car. Helen (I am eternally grateful!!!) helped me and between the two of us, I think we developed enough lower back pain to last a lifetime.

Now that I had a car full of logs and a renewed sense of imminent success, I went home to try carving one out. This too proved much harder than expected! Firstly, simply using a chisel to carve away was NOT doing the job at all! I resorted to using a drill to drill out lots of holes and then chisel in between them. This was working very well until I killed our drill...

So I borrowed my uncles drill (also, to who I am eternally grateful!!!). I didn't kill that one. But still the process was taking a long time. Eventually (another drill-bit later) I'd managed to hollow out a log. My arms were aching and I had blisters all over my hands, but it was at last finished! It had only taken me...about two weeks.

I believe it was the next day that I went to a meeting with one of those in charge at Pretoria Zoo. There, I learned, they would not allow me to use wood because it was unhygenic (because as everybody knows, there are no germs in the wild...) and that they would only accept plastic.

I had a car full of tree trunks, blisters all over my hands, a sore back, six months worth of planning and searching and now I was told that it had all been in vain.

Not being one to give up that easily, I went back to the drawing board - this time, with the intention of making my devices out of PVC piping. But, to my horror, I remembered that the JGI people had said that I couldn't use un-natural materials. So I was totally screwed. At the suggestion of my supervisor, I contacted the JGI again and asked them what they would prefer for me to use.

Suddenly, they changed their tune. PVC was okay! SIX BLOODY MONTHS DOWN THE LINE!!!

After a minor emotional breakdown and (probably) a lot of grumpiness, I began designing my devices anew. This time, I intended to use high-pressure water piping due to the fact that it is incredibly strong and there would be no chance of the chimps getting their hands stuck inside (the diameter of the pipe is 200mm). This was then approved by all parties! Again, I was thrilled and riding the wave of my brilliant recovery.

I then told my supervisor about how much it would all cost.

He recovered surprisingly quickly and then agreed to go ahead with it. By this stage, it had been 9 months since I'd started my degree, and I'm sure he was very worried that at that rate, I'd never leave. So I made all the appropriate arrangements to buy the materials. It was then that I learned that it was standard practice for one to buy things first, and then claim the money back from the university. I didn't have a small fortune, so more drama ensued in trying to obtain money from the university before buying the material.

Eventually, the money came through and I bought everything. As luck would have it, there turned out to be a university handy-man who was willing to help me with the construction of my devices and he (once again, I'm eternally grateful!!!) gratiously built them for me.

I now have an odd 10 devices lying about in my lab and I can now say that they have been tried and tested and WORKED!!! YAY!!

And now you know the back story of my chimp feeder/toys!